A Taste of Halima

Another inane blog- from a typically atypical smart ass.

Wednesday, May 31, 2006

Well

I've gotten more comments since I've been gone then when I was here regularly. I'm flattered, guys.
I'm going to answer some of them... because I can. And you took the effort to write.
"Wow, somebody that is proud of being a sex worker, yet at the same time, ashamed of it. What a clash of the titans. It becomes even more obvious, when you blog about it, as a venting platform, and give out many details about the actual lifestyle, yet you hide behind the anonymity so as to further expose your shame of yourself. It's obvious that you are not in control of the "work" you do, rathet that it is in control of you. Meaning, when you say you are not dependant on a man, in reality, instead of being dependant on one entity, you have become not only dependant, but at the same time addicted to this "industry", in the fact that you don't possibly see yourself "retiring" anytime soon. That sounds pretty dependant to me.May Allah guide you. "
I don't really think that I'm ashamed of what I do. My family may not know all the details, but they do realize that I earn my living in the adult industry. Many of my friends know. I can look myself in the mirror still... and to me that's the biggest thing. I can look at my child and not be ashamed. It's not something I'd shout from the rooftops, and I do lie about it. It's more the reaction from others then the way that I feel, though.
In some ways, I guess that I'm not fully in control of this. Could I support myself this well in another job with my education and the hours I'm willing to put in? No. I know that I can't. It's a large reason why I'm where I am. Many days I like what I do. I enjoy the pace and the drama, even. I keep it out of my personal life so having it in my professional life is fine.

"how very thoughtful and well spoken. sorry about your parents.no matter what people think, though, real shame comes from not making ends meet."
I wish that they could accept what I do. And be happy that I make the money that I do. I don't think it'll ever happen, though. And I do agree- I think that is one thing that'd make me ashamed- not being able to support myself.

"do you ever dream about having a little warm home with some guy you love? I don't really thkink how you can after reading this entry.. please rethink your way of life... "
At this point in my life I don't dream about that, really. I'm still young enough that there is plenty of time for that down the road if I ever feel drawn to it. I do rethink my way of life. Constantly. Every time so far I've come to the conclusion that this where I belong.

That's enough questions for now. Although I will say that Stephanie (ex-millennial girl) has been good about asking how I am- so here- I'm good. Life is up, life is down, and frequently just a swirl.

4 Comments:

At 9:43 PM, Blogger Johnny Wadd said...

Good to see your back!

 
At 5:11 PM, Blogger the bare frame said...

that second comment makes me mad. people are so quick to judge, and all too often from their own totally fucked up perspective.

yesterday should not lock today in stone -- we make today what we intend. by the same token, today should not preordain tomorrow.

i think you're doing fine. be true to what feels right for you.

 
At 7:42 AM, Anonymous Mickey said...

People do judge. Kudos to you for doing what you want/need/have to do to make yourself proud of who you are regardless of society.

 
At 1:19 PM, Blogger Trixie said...

God, what a moronic and rude analysis. It shouldn't surprise me, but that kind of bullshit always pisses me off. Some people don't want to acknowledge that WE AREN'T THE ONES in charge of doling out the punishment we'll get from other people for being honest, and that sometimes our choices are limited by other people's perceptions of what we do. Sometimes it doesn't matter whether or not we're proud of what we do if what matters is someone else's perception that we should be ashamed and punished. And wow -- this person really has his head up his ass for not understand that preserving your anonymity is a requirement just for safety's sake, not to mention other reasons.

Oh, and how SAD that you're not dreaming of a warm little guy to love in a tiny home with his no-doubt tiny penis (not that there's anything wrong with tiny penises except when they're attached to men who feel insecure about them). How dare you not need a man except as a source of income?

Barforama.

Glad to see you're blogging again though! Mwah!

 

Post a Comment

<< Home