I've gotten more comments since I've been gone then when I was here regularly. I'm flattered, guys.
I'm going to answer some of them... because I can. And you took the effort to write.
"Wow, somebody that is proud of being a sex worker, yet at the same time, ashamed of it. What a clash of the titans. It becomes even more obvious, when you blog about it, as a venting platform, and give out many details about the actual lifestyle, yet you hide behind the anonymity so as to further expose your shame of yourself. It's obvious that you are not in control of the "work" you do, rathet that it is in control of you. Meaning, when you say you are not dependant on a man, in reality, instead of being dependant on one entity, you have become not only dependant, but at the same time addicted to this "industry", in the fact that you don't possibly see yourself "retiring" anytime soon. That sounds pretty dependant to me.May Allah guide you. "
I don't really think that I'm ashamed of what I do. My family may not know all the details, but they do realize that I earn my living in the adult industry. Many of my friends know. I can look myself in the mirror still... and to me that's the biggest thing. I can look at my child and not be ashamed. It's not something I'd shout from the rooftops, and I do lie about it. It's more the reaction from others then the way that I feel, though.
In some ways, I guess that I'm not fully in control of this. Could I support myself this well in another job with my education and the hours I'm willing to put in? No. I know that I can't. It's a large reason why I'm where I am. Many days I like what I do. I enjoy the pace and the drama, even. I keep it out of my personal life so having it in my professional life is fine.
"how very thoughtful and well spoken. sorry about your parents.no matter what people think, though, real shame comes from not making ends meet."
I wish that they could accept what I do. And be happy that I make the money that I do. I don't think it'll ever happen, though. And I do agree- I think that is one thing that'd make me ashamed- not being able to support myself.
"do you ever dream about having a little warm home with some guy you love? I don't really thkink how you can after reading this entry.. please rethink your way of life... "
At this point in my life I don't dream about that, really. I'm still young enough that there is plenty of time for that down the road if I ever feel drawn to it. I do rethink my way of life. Constantly. Every time so far I've come to the conclusion that this where I belong.
That's enough questions for now. Although I will say that Stephanie (ex-millennial girl) has been good about asking how I am- so here- I'm good. Life is up, life is down, and frequently just a swirl.