A Taste of Halima

Another inane blog- from a typically atypical smart ass.

Saturday, March 11, 2006

Quality is in the details

I've been thinking about what divides good sex from bad sex. Or even just average sex. I think it's more in the small, sometimes really small, details. Someone can be attractive- my type even, have great length and girth, and still leave me unsatisfied. And I've had enough sex to be able to salvage nearly any experience.
There are certain things that keep me from coming, no matter how hard/ fast/ slow/ soft/ long/ short the sex is.
1)Bad breath. My god- this is a bad one. Especially if he's on top and breathes through his mouth. It's disgusting having hot, rancid air blown down on you. When this happens it's all I can think about. If he's not paying, I recomend a mint.
2) Having not recently showered. Stinky, sweaty balls. Gag me. I've (nearly) solved this by showering with most clients before or at least keeping baby wipes handy. Guys- if you are going to go see a woman- keep yourself CLEAN.
3) Bad rhythm. Also, nonexistant rhythm. Stop & start & stop.... I can't concentrate. I usually see if they are receptive towards me being on top since people who can't keep a steady motion are bad from behind, as well.
4) Sweatiness. I know, I know everyone sweats. If you drip on me though, I'm not feeling so hot. It's gross.
5) Lying about experience level. I don't like being told that you know everything about everything because you've watched porn. Good for you- I'm not porn star. Some of those things are just not gonna happen.
Sorry.
Not.

Why is it that complaining is more fun then the alternative?
Maybe next time I'll go over favorite things. Sex is kind of an infinite topic.

3 Comments:

At 3:26 AM, Blogger Qatar Cat said...

LOL
That is so true!

ALL of it :D

 
At 8:47 PM, Blogger the bare frame said...

lol. great list, all of them true, and nearly all applicable for both sexes.

 
At 1:58 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

do you ever dream about having a little warm home with some guy you love? I don't really thkink how you can after reading this entry.. please rethink your way of life...

 

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