Oh, I'm glad alright
Being in sex work isn't the be all end all to most people's problems. If you treat the life right, though, it can really be good. I live a lifestyle that otherwise I would have no way to support. I can give myself and my daughter the best of what we want & need. The women I still talk to from high school who are single don't match that. Hell, most of the married ones don't.
I'm saving (and will continue to do so) enough that I should retire in the next 10 years or so. I can then go on and go to college and do something else... or not. It's wonderful that I will be in that position.
I don't know that at this point I'd even be suited to some 9-5 desk job. In reality I work maybe 20 hours a week and make more in that week then that desk job could provide.
Not to say that it's always easy- I don't know if I could really escort more then that a week. I think that too many women go into this not knowing what it entails and not having enough personal strength to not be ripped emotionally to shreds. It's not an easy thing to do. Our society has placed such a stigma on strippers, escorts, and porn people. We usually lie about what we do. My parents know, although we don't talk about it. They are so disappointed and I think they like to imagine that I'm a waitress like I told my grandma. I send them money, periodically, and they never take it. I guess knowing that I earn the way I do ruins it for them.
I like that I'm not dependant on a man. I know that I still depend on men for income, but I don't have all my hopes in one place. I've thought about seeing just one man before- more of the sugar daddy kind of thing then the whore thing. It doesn't appeal to me. I like the freedom of cutting ties with a guy with no repercussions. I like that there is always another out there.
When I got into this I had no idea. I was naive. I was a teenager. Barely legal, baby dancer- I promoted it and used it. It also struck me really hard after a few months- that I really was doing this- that I really lived this way. I became a mother before I had a car and I started stripping right after my 18th birthday. I thought I knew everything. Don't most people at 18? I made the further jump to escorting not too long after that.
Now that I have some years of experience I've changed the way that I think about all of this. I am careful to keep it sperate from my 'real' life with my child and my friends. I don't want the two to touch.
That's also why I don't expect to have a website and do internet work. It feels more permanent. Once you are out there it's around for all time... even after retirement. I want to be able to make a break eventually.
In the mean time, I have some good sex, some great friends... and stories I'll never forget. I've either seen it or been asked for it- whatever it is.