A Taste of Halima

Another inane blog- from a typically atypical smart ass.

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Oh, I'm glad alright

Being in sex work isn't the be all end all to most people's problems. If you treat the life right, though, it can really be good. I live a lifestyle that otherwise I would have no way to support. I can give myself and my daughter the best of what we want & need. The women I still talk to from high school who are single don't match that. Hell, most of the married ones don't.
I'm saving (and will continue to do so) enough that I should retire in the next 10 years or so. I can then go on and go to college and do something else... or not. It's wonderful that I will be in that position.
I don't know that at this point I'd even be suited to some 9-5 desk job. In reality I work maybe 20 hours a week and make more in that week then that desk job could provide.
Not to say that it's always easy- I don't know if I could really escort more then that a week. I think that too many women go into this not knowing what it entails and not having enough personal strength to not be ripped emotionally to shreds. It's not an easy thing to do. Our society has placed such a stigma on strippers, escorts, and porn people. We usually lie about what we do. My parents know, although we don't talk about it. They are so disappointed and I think they like to imagine that I'm a waitress like I told my grandma. I send them money, periodically, and they never take it. I guess knowing that I earn the way I do ruins it for them.
I like that I'm not dependant on a man. I know that I still depend on men for income, but I don't have all my hopes in one place. I've thought about seeing just one man before- more of the sugar daddy kind of thing then the whore thing. It doesn't appeal to me. I like the freedom of cutting ties with a guy with no repercussions. I like that there is always another out there.
When I got into this I had no idea. I was naive. I was a teenager. Barely legal, baby dancer- I promoted it and used it. It also struck me really hard after a few months- that I really was doing this- that I really lived this way. I became a mother before I had a car and I started stripping right after my 18th birthday. I thought I knew everything. Don't most people at 18? I made the further jump to escorting not too long after that.
Now that I have some years of experience I've changed the way that I think about all of this. I am careful to keep it sperate from my 'real' life with my child and my friends. I don't want the two to touch.
That's also why I don't expect to have a website and do internet work. It feels more permanent. Once you are out there it's around for all time... even after retirement. I want to be able to make a break eventually.
In the mean time, I have some good sex, some great friends... and stories I'll never forget. I've either seen it or been asked for it- whatever it is.

9 Comments:

At 1:55 PM, Blogger plsbehot said...

Came across your blog today and have enjoyed reading it... I admit to being somewhat facinated by the women in your business and their "stories"! I like your perspective... and hope you'll be able to maintain it.

plsbehot

 
At 2:08 AM, Blogger Stefanie said...

Your state of mind is admirable. And I wish the beliefs of youth could follow us into our adult lives. Then, we'd *realy* know everything.

 
At 6:24 PM, Blogger Johnny Wadd said...

Hey halima, sorry my blog (strip city) moved to http://beyondtheneon.blogspot.com


explanation is there.

 
At 2:41 PM, Anonymous An American in Saudi Arabia said...

Wow, somebody that is proud of being a sex worker, yet at the same time, ashamed of it. What a clash of the titans. It becomes even more obvious, when you blog about it, as a venting platform, and give out many details about the actual lifestyle, yet you hide behind the anonymity so as to further expose your shame of yourself. It's obvious that you are not in control of the "work" you do, rathet that it is in control of you. Meaning, when you say you are not dependant on a man, in reality, instead of being dependant on one entity, you have become not only dependant, but at the same time addicted to this "industry", in the fact that you don't possibly see yourself "retiring" anytime soon. That sounds pretty dependant to me.

May Allah guide you.

 
At 10:38 AM, Blogger the bare frame said...

how very thoughtful and well spoken. sorry about your parents.

no matter what people think, though, real shame comes from not making ends meet.

 
At 4:46 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

actually, i'd rather not have ends meet than hold my hand over that fire for too long...good luck, girl

bf

 
At 9:33 AM, Blogger Leilouta said...

Can you share with us some of the stories that you'll "never forget" ? I enjoyed reading you . I will be back :)

 
At 6:38 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

You say you sleep because you have to support your child.
Lets rewind...why do you think you have the child?Because you had slept with some one.
Take a pause..and think.. if someone was to take care of child..would you stop doing what you do now?
Halima, think it over!

 
At 6:06 PM, Blogger Adriana said...

Hi! I came across your blog by chance and I couldn't stop reading. In my experience I had some curiosity into doing something like that, seems so easy and exciting but its not. I realize how would I feel being used sexually by perverts. I don't think I would have the guts to face all that humiliation. The idea sounds nice but in the long run I think you lose more than what you actually get, your dignity.The ambition you get from getting easy money will never end you will always find excuses for more and more, but your body and mind will get tired from all the abuse. Who am I to judge? nobody You probably have your reasons...I only give you a woman's perspective. Wish you luck! and remember respect and love starts from within!!

 

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